if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
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