Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
