You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Best friends brother. Beat that.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
