I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize