My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize