she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Mom said you looked used
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
