yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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