Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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