At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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