i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
