Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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