Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
