I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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