I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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