Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
