apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
