you have to choose: penises or morals?
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize