Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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