I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
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We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize