its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
