idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
