just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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