his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Last time i carry you out of a forest
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
