I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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