Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
