I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I want a musical about memes.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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