weddingsv make me drug and hornr
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
