I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
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