Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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