I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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