she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
