Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
