I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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