I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
