I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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