how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize