took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I wish there were birth control emojis
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
