What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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