whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
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