Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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