so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
