Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
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