so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
