just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
