Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
