I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
