having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
