Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
