I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
