that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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