hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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