party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
whose parrot is this?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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