Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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