it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of Shame today included voting.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
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