Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Randomize
