I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
