everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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