Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
