I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
