We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
